"Sweets to my sweet".
Most terrible of the urban legends... CandyMan masks his burns by a leather coat and hood.
Gabrielle Lys. May 23th, 2009.
Red hair Stewart on board of Paris-Brussels Thalys. Uniform made up of a dress and thigh boots with the blue lawful color of the train.
Gabrielle Lys. October 2007.
The man with the hat: boots out of black leather, sacking miniskirt, black Tee-shirt, waistcoat in young cow, hat 1900, fun bangle. Gabrielle Lys 2005.
The collar of feathers of the shaman
makes talk "the earth"... summer look: Blouse of custumized training, bracelets blue-ivoir, skirt in military fabric and sandals for man. Gabrielle Lys July 2006.
look, fashion and regard of oneself.
This article highlights the interaction that there exists between the regard of oneself and importance attached to appearance. Major elements to explain the return of the skirt in male wardrobe.
Regard of oneself.
Regard of oneself, one of the most fundamental dimensions of our personality. It is a discrete and complex phenomenon of which we are not always aware. The expression "Regard of oneself" comes from Latin oestimare, "to evaluate", whose significance is double: at the same time "to determine the value" and "to have an opinion on". The regard of oneself is thus how we see ourself and if we like or not what we see. This glance-judgement which we carry on ourself is important for our psychological balance. When it is positive, it makes it possible to act effectively, to smell ourself well in our skin, to face to the difficulties of the existence. But when it is negative, it generates a number of sufferings and nuisances which come to disturb our life.
The three pillars of the regard of oneself.
To have self-confidence, to be sure of oneself, to be happy with oneself. The terms and the expressions employed in the language to indicate the regard of oneself are large. In fact, each one of them refers to the one of its multiple aspects. Actually, the regard of oneself rests on three "ingredients": Self-confidence, the vision of oneself, the self-love. The good proportioning of each one of these three components is essential with obtaining a harmonious regard of oneself.
It is the most important element. To like does not suffer any condition: we like ourself in spite of our defects, our limits, the failures and the reverses. Simply because a small interior voice says to us that we are worthy of love and respect. This "unconditional" self-love does not depend on our performances. It explains why we can resist to the adversity and to rebuild ourself after a failure. It prevents neither the suffering nor the doubt in the event of difficulties, but it protects from despair.
The self-love depends mainly on the love that our family given to us when we were child and of "emotional foods" which were given to us. The deficiencies of regard of oneself which take their source on this level are undoubtedly most difficult to catch up with. we finds them in what the psychiatrists call "the personality disorders", i.e. at subjects of which manner of being with others growth them to conflicts or failures.
To like oneself is well the base of the regard of oneself, its major component and close friend. However, it is never easy to distinguish at a person, beyond her social mask, the exact degree of the like oneself.
2. The vision of oneself.
It is the glance which we carry on ourself. This evaluation, founded or not, that we make about our qualities and defects, is the second pillar of the regard of oneself. It is not a question of self-knowledge; but the conviction that we have to be carrying qualities or defects, potentialities or limitations. Subjectivity thus holds the beautiful role; its observation is difficult, and its comprehension is delicate. This is why, a complexed person - whose regard of oneself is often low - will leave often perplexed the persons which do not perceive the defects of which it is believed reached.
Positive, the vision of oneself is an interior force which enables us to wait our hour in spite of the adversity. In other cases, a limited vision of oneself will push the subject with the dependence of others: we can establish satisfactory relations with others, but we limit oneself to the role of follower, we passe only on ways already explored by others. There is evil to build and bring to a successful conclusion personal projects.
The self-confidence applies especially to our acts. To be trustful, it is to think that we are able to act in an adequate way in important situations. Contrary to the self-love and, especially, to the vision of oneself, the self-confidence is not very difficult to identify. It is enough for that to regularly attend a person, to observe how she behaves in new or unforeseen situations, when there is a stake, or if she is subjected to difficulties in the realization of what she undertook. The self-confidence can thus seem less fundamental than the self-love or the vision of oneself, of which it would be a consequence. It is partly true, but its role seems to us paramount insofar as the regard of oneself needs acts to be maintained or developed: small successes each day are necessary to our psychological balance, just like food and oxygen is necessary to our body. Not to fear the unknown or the adversity testifies to a good degree of self-confidence.
The balance of the regard of oneself.
These three components of the regard of oneself generally maintain the bonds of interdependence: the self-love (to respect ourself what it occurs, to listen our needs and our aspirations) incontestably facilitates a positive vision of oneself (to believe in our capacities, to project ourself in the future) which, in its turn, the self-confidence influences favorably (to act without excessive fear of the failure and judgement of others). The regard of oneself is not given once for all. It is a mobile dimension of our personality. More or less high, more or less stable, it needs to be regularly fed.
Mirror, my beautiful mirror...
The mirror is always in our daily environment: bathrooms and halls of our residences, stores, halls of building, rooms of gymnastics, rear view mirrors of our cars... Our image to us is reflected tens of time per day. It was not always as follows. In fact, until the 17th century, the mirrors were very rare. The gallery of the Ices of the castle of Versailles was at the time an exceptional sign of power and richness. Correctly likely to translate the extraordinary regard of oneself of the king Louis XIV. But the democratization of the mirror dates only from the 19th century. Since, the mirror became to us familiar and intimate. Which is the role of this invading presence of our image, to which it is added photograph and movies, in the increasing pressures on the image of the body ? This one is increasingly present in publicity: perfumes, beauty products, fashion. As for the women, but with about thirty years of delay, men are subjected to a bombardment of images of ideal bodies on the display panels, the magazines, televised publicities.
Look, fashion and estimate oneself.
Appearances influence much the regard of oneself. They make that we feel developed or devalued. Our clothing is not only any more used to protect us from the cold or hiding our nudity. How do you feel after having bought a beautiful clothing, which suits you to charm ? Undoubtedly you smell yourselves well... Your regard of oneself was some increased. The image that you have of yourself will be doped.
For those which like the fashion, the game consists in supervising the tendencies and the windows in order to be always in the wind, the objective is to carry what will go, but before everyone, and especially stop to carry it when everyone followed... The fashion, especially if we preceded it, is a means of increasing our regard of oneself. The objective is to dissociate others, while being the first to adopt new ways of dressing ourself. Thus developed by their statute of pioneers, they will be ready to still face the glances and critics of people with the old style. For others, to follow the fashion will be a way of not decreasing its regard of oneself. The motivation is not a profit of regard of oneself, but the avoidance of a loss. They adopt a fashion only when it spreads, in order to not be judged negatively on an obsolete appearance. Of course, at the stage where "everyone starts to start to it", the innovators for a long time gave up the fashion in question: it would not bring anything any more to their regard oneself.
In the Western countries, the way simplest and fastest to improve its image, it is often to buy clothing. Would the fashion exist if people did not have problems of regard of oneself? How to differently explain the success of the "claws", which consists to pay a clothing more expensive if it has the logo in the wind.
"L'estime de soi : S'aimer pour mieux vivre avec les autres".
Christophe André et François Lelord, Edition Odile Jacob.
The site is a success thanks to you all. Thank you for your expressions of sympathy in the golden
and ideological support of members. Thank you also with those which write personal messages to me. They suit me right to the heart and push me to advance always further.
"Just believe in yourself.
Hear this voice from deep inside.
It's the call of your heart.
Close your eyes and you will find
The way out of the dark."
[Send me an angel - Scorpions]
Gabrielle Lys. Marsh 11, 2011.
I had 16 years old and stays completely hypnotized by his audacity to propose new look for the guys."
Boy George dressed by Gabrielle Lys. Mini dress on white blouse. Two-tone long coat out of cotton and hight hat with crowned chamanic feathers.
Gabrielle Lys. December 18th, 2008.
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14/12/2019 - 10h21
Beatrix elizabeth Hyden
- Tas -
Androgynous in mind. Male in nature. Female in appearance. What else... Mind the step!
13/01/2021 - 18h19
- France -
J'ai toujours évolué dans un univers de travail exclusivement masculin : Le BTP.
En dehors de mon travail de directeur, j'ai toujours aimé porter des shorts en été, plutôt courts, et j'aime les vêtements plutôt androgyne ; en l'occurrence, j'aime beaucoup les vêtements féminins et autres jupes et robes de ces dames. Je peux dire qu'elles m'ont toujours donné l'envie de pouvoir les porter à mon tour. Elles sont pour moi source émancipation masculine !
J'ai une sensibilité plutôt féminine, j'aime autant le Rock que la poésie et la littérature...l'aventure, les rencontres, la photo, les gens !
J'ai aussi une tendance à contrecarrer toute discipline imposée, révolutionnaire depuis toujours contre les inégalités et les codes. Juste le fait que ce vêtement invite à la liberté m'impose d'y réfléchir et de m'inscrire dans un style qui réforme les choses convenues. J'aime que ma façon d'être et mon habillement suscite curiosité et quelque fois provocation !
Je découvre aujourd'hui - par plusieurs articles de presse de couturiers de la jupe, stylistes, et puis par votre blog et ...je vois que les quelques derniers posts un peu provoc sur facebook suscitent les réactions : Ah le foutu regard des autres !
Par contre, tout ce que je découvre - enfin - sur cet univers laissé en jachère depuis la Révolution Française n'est pas vraiment dans un style novateur : Tartans et kilts écossais, tenues "celtiques", etc, ou alors le noir "punk".
j'ai vraiment l'impression (mais je n'ai encore pas franchi le premier pas !) que si ce vêtement sortait de ces caricatures vieillottes (je n'ai pas dit moches !) alors le vieux fantômes du déguisement et du travestissement tiendrait encore longtemps la barre haute aux idées reçues.
J'ai dit en début d'année que je tenterai l'expérience et je le ferai...mais pas n'importe comment. Je prendrai soin de ne pas choquer, en tous cas j'essaierai. J'ai vraiment envie que l'expérience devienne une réalité "vivable" au quotidien. Mon nouveau travail (gérant d'un bar qui se voudrait le plus possible alternatif) va forcément m'aider dans ma démarche.
En tous cas, je suis content de vous avoir découvert...
Last msg of GuestBook :
- France -
- added 12/04/2018.
je porte des jupes et jupons des années 50/60 a la maison mais n'ose pas sortir habillé comme cela dans la rue. Par contre je sort habillé en kilt écossais le plus souvent possible se qui ne me gêne pas car j'adore porter des jupes plissée et bien sur les kilts
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