He knows that he gives to the others the appearance of an animated manga. But he projects human being towards the perfect one, the godlike beauty... and he meets God at each crossroads.... From now on, he fixes the horizon at far with determination. His life is a heaventy search.
Gabrielle Lys. November 2006.
Pleated pants in silk embossed. Velvet felt hat. Leather laced boots and jacket.
Gabrielle Lys. February 26, 2011.
The singer:: he poses for journalists on the edge of terrace of the Metropole hotel in Brussels. He wears a pleated blue sky skirt and a yellow tee-shirt in stretch. For these first days of spring, the color of its wind-breaker and its ankle boots is last cry in luxury shops of the Louise avenue. Gabrielle Lys April 2006.
The collar of feathers of the shaman
makes talk "the earth"... summer look: Blouse of custumized training, bracelets blue-ivoir, skirt in military fabric and sandals for man. Gabrielle Lys July 2006.
To dare the skirt, it is to develop a beautiful interiority.
"If I differ from you, far from injuring you, I increase you." [ Saint-Exupéry ]
I found this very beautiful interview of Saverio Tomasella which I publish here with the agreement of the author. It can be useful to each one among you who write to me not to dare the skirt.
Interview of Saverio Tomasella. Psychoanalyst and author "to make peace with oneself" - (Eyrolles edition)
Which difficulties meet people who must assume a "difference"?
The fields of the differences is infinite. One can be too small, too large, too thin, too large. But also eccentric, marginal, night-bird, or to like to wear the skirt... From the point of view of the psychological mechanisms, one can say that the child who arrives at the world has a need inconcient to be recognized by his environment. Subjected to the social standards of a group (his family, his neighbors, the school), he will do everything unconsciously, to adhere to the values of this group.
What happen if a human being is discovered artist in a family where they hate that, or is manual in a intellectual family ?
he will not feel with the height of this request of harmonization and will live a conflict. From there, two scénarii are possible. Maybe, he meets a person (a grandmother, a friend, a teacher...) who carries it, which say to him "would be what you are". Then there, it is practically gained. In spite of the mockeries or comments, he will be able to be based on this word of the other. Maybe, he does not meet a support...
But what does it occur if, the most frequent case, he does not cross this support on his road?
A conflict between the ideal of the group and his reality (what he is able to bring) will settle in him. This conflict causes suffering. While growing, this faintness can evolve in two manners. Either it will push him to saying "Dash it!", to become a little rebellious or creative. we find a lot of people engaged in this category: trade unionists, artists, politicians. Maybe, he will induce a fold on oneself which can lead to despair or depression...
Are there common springs to the people who voluntarily choose a certain marginality?
We observe recurring diagrams. In closing families (rigid vestimentary, professional, of behavior codes), children feel with narrow, not recognized. Some will react by making a marginal choice. All rather than to conform to the family model. They will be tramp rather than insurance agent, travelling acrobat rather than doctor, or completely eccentric rather than assembled collet. It is a choice of survival which can save them and become an asset. But contrary, others turn over against them the cruelty of the system. Confronted with a devaluing language, they will become this least that nothing to not repudiate the system. The "difference" is then in the self-destruction or the negation of oneself. Painful.
Can Prear which process the difference become a richness?
In a general way, crossed of suffering, small or large, makes mature, makes more human. Different, I must face to mockeries, with the rejection, with the comments... My heart is obliged to be reinforced. I will more quickly become myself rather than on the others. It is a favorable ground to the emergence of a very beautiful interiority which, at the adulthood, will hatch. In the form of a particularly subtle way to like the life, or to like the others, or to approach work, the private life or to express an art; a many painters, singers, novelists result from this vein. It is very important to know that the difference is a chance. The pain which results from this makes it possible to better reach the bottom of its heart.
Which is the council to give to except standards people so that they live their marginality as well as possible?
Seek with deepest of you than there is of more human and express it humanly. The others will be humanized with your contact. Then the difference does not seem one obstacle any more. There is not difference that cannot be assumed and respected. Means of arriving there? That depends on the way of life but impossible to make this course alone. The human being needs another human being to structure himself. This other can be a friend, a love, a person of resource, a spiritual step. Or a therapeutist.
The five rules of an accomplished interiority:
1) To demolish glance of the others.
2) To give value to its own feelings ("what I feel, it is valid, even if it is not in conformity")
3) To transform its resentments into personal thoughts (if I smell myself badly, to manage to express it in "I" rather than to leave himself with "my colleague is bitch")
4) To touch his own loneliness ("I cannot be well with the others if I do not accept my loneliness")
5) To enter into contact with different people ("more I riches my pallet, more I accept my difference")
The site is a success thanks to you all. Thank you for your expressions of sympathy in the golden
and ideological support of members. Thank you also with those which write personal messages to me. They suit me right to the heart and push me to advance always further.
When all is said and done,
Will you remained spectator of your destiny ?
Or will you jump right on it ?
Do you let a more FREE WORLD after your dead ?
For you to write history.
For you to build your heritage.
Your mind, your clothes and YOUR SKIRT.
Gabrielle Lys . June 30, 2012.
TO GO HIGHER:
"I hid my differences so much,
under airs or pretences.
I believed that others steps of dances,
would hide me with the eyes of people.
I never followed your roads.
I wanted to trace my way.
To go higher.."
[Aller plus haut - Tina Arena]
To go higher, he wears a leather dress to the square shoulder pads like his ancestors of Rome and the thigh boots of Gabrielle Lys.
November 14th, 2007.
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